I’ve been dealing with a lot of frustration concerning hypocritical disrespect. It’s not enough to advocate for minorities, for women, for civil rights, and for justice. A person must also advocate for those that surround them. They must exhibit common courtesy towards the ones close to them, such as respecting people’s space, people’s feelings, people’s personal needs, and people’s issues. There must be EMPATHY. There must be understanding rather than a self-serving, narcissistic attitude.

I have come to learn this over time, and I still struggle with it sometimes. I hope others will begin to realize that no matter how much they “advocate” for the greater good, they will never truly succeed at making a difference without starting with their own relationships and connections with others. This is the only way we can help others grow while also helping ourselves grow. We have to make a difference both ways.

Many of us believe that personal growth comes from personal gain. But consider what kind of gain this refers to. Often, gain means winning, being the best, being in control et cetera. What we must realize is that gain should be learning, appreciating, understanding, and growing as an empathetic human. Thus, we have to strive for giving respect, so that we can ultimately gain it.

Please respect others. Stop and consider other’s feelings. It’s the only honest way to gain or deserve trust. Thanks.

There has been a lot of confusion about pansexuality. Here’s the deal

1.) It’s not bisexuality

     Bisexuality implies attraction to only two genders and does not factor in gender-nonconformists, gender queer people, transgender, etc. Bisexuality is typically when a person is attracted to both men and women. They are attracted to physical characteristics that define each gender as well as stereotypical personality characteristics that coincide with those genders.

2.) Pansexuality is typically an attraction to people of ANY gender, which is normally because someone who is pansexual is first attracted to people’s personalities rather than their physicalities. When they are attracted to someone, that person displays personality traits that attract the pansexual; their physicalities tag along with their personalities rather than being a major factor in the attraction.

Now that’s all rather confusing. Let me give some examples:

If a bisexual person, a lesbian, or a straight person was dating a woman and that woman decided to go through a transition and begin identifying as a man, the bisexual/gay straight person would more likely not be comfortable with remaining in a relationship. Typically, the bisexual/gay/straight wants the “gender they signed up for” meaning they like the person for who they are but they also like the fact that the person was a woman. The gender was a defining and important factor in the attraction. In contrast, a pansexual person is likely to have less issue if any issue at all with a person changing gender, since the gender of the person is not a defining factor of attraction. The person is still the same person with the same personality. The pansexual will also still achieve sexual satisfaction with this person regardless of gender.

Pansexual people are more likely to be attracted to trans, gender queer, etc people, since gender is not a defining factor in attraction.

DON’T GET ME WRONG! Pan people are typically attracted to people’s physical appearances, but it is based more on that individuals unique “look” than them being any one particular gender or having any one particular gender’s attributes. (i.e. curves on women)

Make sense? If not comment and let me know! I want people to understand this because there are SO MANY PANSEXUALS in this world. I’ve dated three or four myself so I think I would know. ALSO, ask pansexuals about what they think. Their opinion and insight may be more reliable than mine.

Pans: PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG! I don’t wanna misinform the world anymore than it has been.

THANKS :)

Quote: “this is incredibly accurate. one other thing i would say, and this may just be specific to me, but when it comes to physical attraction, it usually is linked to personality. for example, if a person has negative personality traits, i tend to find them unattractive physically. if the person has awesome personality characterisitcs i find them extremely physically attractive. again, that may just be me, i feel like every pan is different. physical appearance just isn’t normally the first thing that i notice about a person.”  ~Jenn Reyda

Judgement.

Can you judge someone?

Yes

Will you judge someone?

Yes

Have you judged someone?

Yes

Do people judge you?

Yes

Should you judge someone?

Sometimes, you might wanna consider it. (People in allies can be dangerous, you know)

How should you judge someone?

Now, see, that’s the important question. Here’s the simple answer. Put yourself in their shoes. Understanding comes from empathy. Detectives often try to think like criminals to understand motives. To try think like someone else when you don’t understand them before you pop a label on them. That’s all I’m sayin.

Hey, thanks. I’m glad I may make sense to someone in this world.

Bisexual people struggle with several different things.

First and foremost, being sexually different than others. Just like all LGBQ peeps.

But then there is the ignorance….

People just don’t understand the concept.

Most people assume “oh you’re a slut, just can’t get enough, you’re not actually bi, attention seeking, going through a(the) phase (i went through a bi phase so you are too)”. This ignorance comes from both sides. The lesbian and gay side and the straight side. L & G people think oh you’re just on you’re way to being gay or oh you’re not actually gay. They think in a strictly bi polar way. It’s one way or the other. Same thing with straight people. So Bi’s aren’t accepted in either world. Which sucks.

If people don’t assume those things, they assume that bisexuality is and has to be 50/50. Wrong yet again. Here it is people….

Bi people (in my way of explaining/looking at things) are attracted to men and women (I’m not talking about pan, I’ll get to that in a min). Bi people are attracted to different things in each gender. They are like, ooh girls they have this and this and this and I like that and I assume this kind of role around them and then they’re like ooh men they have this this and this (different usually than women) and I assume this other role with them. Some bi women, for example like to feel like the girl, the protected, the taken care of when in a relationship with a man. With a women some bi women wanna be on more equal more mutual terms while sometimes assuming more of the dom role even. Total opposite. Bisexuality is physical and characteristical attraction to both genders in separate ways for each.

This is different than pansexuality, which is often defined more as gender blind. A pansexual looks for the same characteristics in people and not different characteristics based on gender. For example, they look for someone to be funny and dorky and it doesn’t matter if it comes from a man, woman, transgendered person, transsexual person, or gender queer person. Bisexual people tend to look for some different characteristics between men and women. (with possibly a few core characteristics remaining constant, such as good sense of humor, or smart). These characteristics are most likely to (but wont always) coincide with stereotypical gender roles.

K, so that is how we fix ignorance. We tell people what bisexuality is. It is not sluttyness. It is not a phase (necessarily, but it can be, bc sexuality is fluid). The point is, don’t invalidate someone’s sexuality unless you want someone to call you gay when you’re straight or straight when you’re gay or a man when you identify as a woman.

Bi people suffer from ignorance, misconceptions, being shunned from multiple parties (you cant make up your mind so screw you, kinda thing), from closed-mindedness, self conflict (am I 50/50? am I gay? for example some bi people say they’re about 76/24 (lol) so sometimes when people invalidate or question their sexuality they wonder if they’re gay, but then they remember even if they couldn’t date a guy they still find them highly attractive both physically and characteristically), and disrespect (slut, whore, dumb, wishy washy, tease, crap like that).

Here’s what I think.

Let’s get of sexuality labels. Ha. Like that will ever happen. But seriously sometimes just tell people, “I’m sexual” not “I’m bisexual.”

First off, people can relate to being sexual (everyone is except asexual and demisexual people).

Think about it though. Some people like feet, hair, eyes, and boobs. Some people like butts, noses, teeth, and knees. People don’t label their all of their fetishes and sexual pleasures (LIke… “I’m knee sexual” like wtf.) All I’m saying is that everyone likes different things in a sexual spectrum, so why focus so much on labels?

Because we need organization. Screw the human brain, right? Ok, so… we can have labels, but lets not get so caught up on them. “Ok so im bi and you dont get that…. but you like cutting yourself in sex. I don’t get that.” So whatever. STFU. I mean seriously. Labels organize, but that’s only if they have a universal meaning. Because bisexual has eighty thousand different definitions, its not serving its purpose as a widely accepted functional label. (like cup for example. Everyone knows what a cup is). We either need to educate everyone as to what bisexuality is so everyone has the same conception (just like everyone thinks of a cup in basically the same way) or we need to stop trying to label crap that’s too broad and confusing to be labeled. Or at least stop worrying about it that much. Like, whatever.

That’s my rant. Peace.

“The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: It’s a girl.”
Shirley Chisholm

People immediately assume from birth that those with female sex organs must be “girls” or “women” and with these gender labels come expectations:

Submissiveness

Mother Characteristics

Weakness

Femininity

Beauty

…So on and so forth. What people don’t understand is that gender is not sex. Sex is biological, referring to physical anatomy of sex organs.

Gender, however, is ultimately about characteristics and expressions. You can be male (Biologically) but still have feminine characteristics. (Ever see a man cry?)

Therefore, gender is not a binary concept. It is a way of portraying oneself to the world.

       i.e. You might be biologically female, but you might express masculinity while engaging in sports, or maybe you express hard and uncaring characteristics when you are focused and competitive.

Masculinity, femininity, emotionality, complexity, dominance etc. are all characteristics that help define gender identity

Those who do not understand transgenderism, transsexualism, and gender queerness are ignorant to this concept.

~proudly supporting my gq, trans, intersex, and non-cisgendered peeps. My heart goes out to your struggles. <3